![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/Best-in-show-westminster.jpg\" "\\"Best")
<\/a> the owner to lift the tail. And then kaboom! She indicated that this ridiculous looking Pekinese (?Beijingese?) was the Best in Show, beating out the gorgeous Irish setter I was rooting for. The announcer was Mary Carillo, repurposed from her usual role as tennis commentator but she was unable to provide any insight. \u00a0This was an entirely subjective contest, so it was hard to believe that such a momentous decision could be entrusted to a single individual. \u00a0Like Olympic figure skating or diving, shouldn\u2019t there have been a panel of judges holding up their ranking cards? \u00a0Then maybe Mary Carillo could discuss the possible collusion of the Eastern bloc judges.<\/p>\nBut I left the vagaries of dog show judging to those immersed in this subculture and instead focused on the amazing diversity of dog breeds. There are about 150 breeds that compete in dog shows, but there are many other more home-brewed breeds, like our two cock-a-poos, which are an intentional cross between a cocker spaniel and poodle.\u00a0 Breeds range in size from the 2 pound tea cup dogs that double as fashion accessories, to the English mastiff that can weigh over 300 pounds.\u00a0 This diversity is all derived from the initial enterprising wolf who decided to be sociable and throw in his lot with humans. \u00a0Ooga Magook and our cave dwelling ancestors discovered that they could train dogs to protect the home and do some useful chores.\u00a0 Even better, with a little genetic engineering, they could tailor-make breeds for specific tasks.<\/p>\n
The dogs eagerly accepted the relative security of human cohabitation, and reference books say that the dogs took the initiative and \u201cself-domesticated,\u201d but I wonder if they truly understood the risks.\u00a0 They avoided the harsh cruelty of nature, but then risked the random cruelty of humans.\u00a0 This thorny theme is well addressed in the Disney movie, \u201cLady and the Tramp.\u201d\u00a0 Tramp chafes at the thought of a collar and a license, and enjoys Dogs lost the daily rigors of scrounging food to eat, but they then lost one of the most basic freedoms – the freedom to choose their mating partner. \u00a0Humans manufactured breeds with short legs for digging out rodents, dogs with exquisite noses for hunting, water dogs, herding dogs, they were all created by focused human efforts. In this process, humans are engineers seeking perfection, while Mother Nature is basically a tinkerer where \u201cjust good enough\u201d is an evolutionary endpoint.\u00a0 Left to random breeding, dogs will quickly revert to a basic generic dog \u2013 actually a dog that looks quite a bit like Tramp.<\/p>\n Watching the Westminster Dog Show reminded me of when we used to take the kids to the dog show, so I was pleased to discover that the American Kennel Club was sponsoring their \u201cCluster of Dogs\u201d show last weekend. I decided to witness this great genetic experiment first hand. \u00a0(I will admit that the bizarre culture of dog breeders and handlers was also intriguing.) \u00a0It was just as I remembered \u2013 rows and rows of dogs in cramped crates, or sitting on their handlers’ laps being continuously petted or standing on a table immobilized with a noose to permit endless over-the-top grooming.\u00a0 The poodle cuts are famously pretentious, but supposedly have some basis in their original role as water dogs.\u00a0 The long hair around the chest keeps the vital organs warm while in water, while the shaved legs facilitate a vigorous dog-paddle.\u00a0 Those two fur patches on their back supposedly protect the kidneys, but actually look more like an outline of a pair of buttocks. I wandered over to the judging ring and picked up a brochure that explained the show. I immediately noticed that dog breeders have no compunction about using the word \u201cbitch\u201d freely and often. Before I ever say that word out loud I glance around to make sure that I will not offend anyone. \u00a0When did bitch become a bad word? \u00a0According to dictionary.com, this connotation emerged around 1400 \u00a0and now we routinely use bitch as a noun, verb and adverb to describe unpleasant people, situations and behavior.\u00a0 In contemporary culture, something so negative can also acquire a positive meaning.\u00a0 For example, I have heard sports announcements describe a virtuoso athletic achievement as \u201csick,\u201d\u00a0 such as \u201cthat catch in the endzone was just sick.\u201d\u00a0 Same thing happened to bitch.\u00a0 In 1969, you might have heard, \u201cI met this righteous babe at Woodstock and we had a bitchin\u2019 time.\u201d<\/p>\n I watched one judging session of identical looking golden retrievers. Every time the dog moved the handler would give him a little treat. (I even saw one handler eating one of the treats herself.)\u00a0 According to my brochure this was called \u201cbitch baiting,\u201d a term that seemed at the very least lewd and potentially illegal, but here at the dog show, the word \u201cbitch\u201d comes without any cultural baggage. \u00a0While the dogs waited to parade around, I noticed one handler had stuffed a brush into his belt like a gun. \u00a0He quickly pulled it out for one last grooming effort. The judge seemed to take a perfunctory glance at each dog and then, with no announcement, no play by play commentary, the judge indicated a winner, a process that seemed as arbitrary as refs calling basketball fouls.<\/p>\n I finished my visit with a tour of the vendors where there were many \u201conly-in-America\u201d moments \u2013 glittery dog clothes, custom made dog beds to match a master bedroom, canine massage and a doggie day spa called \u201cParadise 4 Paws.\u201d\u00a0 The spa was located next Other venders specialized in extensive grooming supplies.\u00a0 I asked one vendor, \u201cDo dogs wear make up?\u201d<\/p>\n He looked at me as if he had just heard the stupidest question in the world. \u201cWell hell yes,\u201d he said. \u201cDogs have blemishes you know.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd what about dying their hair?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n He grimaced, \u201cWell I don\u2019t approve of it, but what can I do?\u00a0 Sure I sell dye.\u201d<\/p>\n There were all sorts of doggie treats, such as chew toys designed to look like a hot dog, easily digestible elk antlers, knee caps from some slaughtered animal, and hooves filled with a jaundiced looking liver concoction. \u00a0There was an endless array of different nutritional supplements and organic food \u2013 the cost of a can probably exceeded the daily budget for a school lunch program. \u00a0I then realized that the dogs were better groomed and had a better diet that those of the handlers. I walked by one woman who was meticulously creating a razor sharp part in her Pekinese. She was using a small needle to rearrange individual hairs. \u00a0In contrast, her hair was a jumbled mess. \u00a0It was now lunchtime and many of the handlers were eating from plastic containers on their laps.\u00a0 The typical lunch was a mountain of nacho chips smothered in too-bright yellow cheesiness. As the handler dipped and crunched, neighboring handlers were madly brushing dogs or wielding industrial hair driers. I felt that I was standing in a falling veil of dander and hair, and that the puddles of nacho cheese were functioning as gooey and edible lint traps.\u00a0 It was time to go.<\/p>\n When I got back home, our two dogs greeted me warmly.\u00a0 What was their trade-off?\u00a0\u00a0 Our cock-a-poos were specifically bred to be hypo-allergenic and non shedding; both were immediately \u201cfixed.\u201d\u00a0 Ouch.\u00a0 We feed them exactly the same meal twice a day. \u00a0We would feed them more scraps except that their stomachs can no longer handle any variety. \u00a0Two strikes against.\u00a0 On the plus side, they have never been in a crate.\u00a0 Nick faithfully takes them for two 45 minute walks a day where they enthusiastically dig for voles.\u00a0 And they really get their ancient wolf going when they bark in response to the baying coyotes in the adjacent prairie.\u00a0 All in all, these dogs lucked into a trade-off that even Tramp would applaud.<\/p>\n Ma Nature has created ****** of every shape and kind,<\/p>\n But she probably only had a single generic dog in mind.<\/p>\n Humans wanted better; they thought a sensitive nose was an important asset,<\/p>\n So they started a program of genetic engineering and invented a super sniffing ******.<\/p>\n Dogs may enjoy the security of domestication but some have paid a steep price,<\/p>\n It they knew the risk of the ****** of human cruelty they might have thought twice.<\/p>\n Even top dogs who are considered ** **** in show might not want to celebrate.<\/p>\n Humans control every little thing, especially who, when and if they can ever mate.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Beasts, basset, basest, as best<\/p>\nFollow Liza Blue on: A couple of weeks ago, Nick and I found the TV offerings particularly desolate and we struggled to stitch together a reasonable combination of a primary TV show and a toggling alternative. After much flailing about, we hit upon the … Continue reading <\/a>his life as the carousing bachelor about town with an \u201ceye for the well-turned paw.\u201d\u00a0 However, he is eventually picked up by the dog catcher and threatened with euthanasia. \u00a0How much freedom is Tramp willing to sacrifice to ensure security? \u00a0Eventually, he settles down with Lady and in the final scene he is wearing a collar.\u00a0 Tramp also sniffs in disdain at coddled pure breeds. \u00a0Where is Tramp on that greasy slope of opportunity vs. sell out?<\/p>\n<\/a> Some dogs look blinded by their grooming, and for some dogs, I <\/a>had trouble distinguishing the butt from the face.\u00a0 One of the groomers was wearing a T-shirt that said, \u201cGroomers do it on a table.\u201d I saw a few people kissing their dogs full on the lips. To me, it looked like the dogs had a miserable life \u2013 valued only for some contrived sense of beauty as opposed to any innate dogginess. An attractive but empty-headed woman is called a bimbo; I think that the male equivalent is the phrase \u201cOh, he\u2019s just a show dog.\u201d Tramp would have been appalled at security vs. freedom trade-off for show dogs.<\/p>\n<\/a> to the airport allowing for easy drop-off on the way to a vacation.\u00a0 Dogs enjoy a bone shaped splash pool, \u201covernight suites\u201d or \u201cslumber party lounges.\u201d\u00a0 Owners can also check up on their pets with web-cams.<\/p>\nThe missing words in the following poem are anagrams (i.e. share the same letters like spot, post, stop) and the number of asterisks indicates the number of letters.\u00a0 Your job is to solve the missing words based on the above rules and the context of the poem.\u00a0 Scroll down for answers.<\/em><\/h6>\n
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