![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.fanagrams.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/02\/drawers-SNL.jpg\" "\\"drawers")
<\/a> as the plumber, bent over to reveal a good 2-3 inches of crack, in fact \u201cplumber\u2019s crack\u201d became part of the vernacular.\u00a0 However, I suspect that concepts of gluteal quality \u2013 i.e. color, consistency and contour \u2013 determined the social acceptability of the visible crack.\u00a0 There is certainly a difference between a taut teenage body and a big ole\u2019 flabby, mottled pale white and slightly hairy crack.<\/p>\nWhat was the social message of a visible crack, was it really no big deal, or was it sending a flirty and naughty message?\u00a0 And if flirtation was part of the message, why was I receiving this message at breakfast on a weekday morning?\u00a0 It made me ponder on whether I would rather see a crack or a protruding thong, and I think that I am voting for the crack. \u00a0\u00a0The crack is an error of omission \u2013 I could imagine my daughter testing out jeans in the dressing room, bending over in several ways and then craning her neck over her should to see if her cleft showed, but there was no way that she could anticipate every circumstance and a simulated bend and reach into the salad drawer was not part of the repertoire.\u00a0 Now you might test thongs in the same way, but the thong seems riskier since it is not snugged in under the gluteal fold (distinguished from the cleft by its shallower depth and the fact that it runs horizontally compared to the \u201cwhere the sun don\u2019t shine\u201d vertical cleft.)\u00a0 Furthermore, there are times when the visible thong seems entirely intentional, i.e. a high rise thong combined with low rise jeans.\u00a0 You might don a thong for a date night when you want to send out a sexual message, but for routine activities, the visible thong straddles that fine line between sexy confidence and skanky trampiness.\u00a0 I once saw a mother changing her child\u2019s diaper on the carpet at the airport gate, and as she bent over, out popped the thong. \u00a0Was she trying to send the message that even though she was a mother she still \u201chad it\u201d and was going to Internet commentary describes thongs as the solution to a visible panty line, apparently a situation Now if you are truly concerned about VPL, I would think that the best solution would be to go commando.\u00a0 Marilyn Monroe The mop up requires some absorbing action.\u00a0 Now the female anatomy has three outlets down there, two have sphincters, one does not, and thus its contents are more subject to the effects of gravity, if you catch my drift.\u00a0 In fact there is a whole industry around the panty liner, as a sort of belt and suspenders approach to the mop up.\u00a0 In my mind this is the clearest function of underwear and a role that cannot be achieved by the slender thong, even with a panty liner.\u00a0 Thong aficionados claim that they are comfortable once you get used to them, but that is an attribute only if there is some other function.\u00a0 That leaves habit and sexuality as the only rationales for thongs; neither of these roles is hostage to practicality or logic, and both are fueled by an entire industry devoted to decorating the derriere, so my plan for a nation wide commando action is doomed to failure.<\/p>\n Underwear has an important role that is sanitary<\/p>\n It ***** stuff that succumbs to forces that are gravitary<\/p>\n But the thong is only equipped with a tiny little *****<\/p>\n That might not be up to the task in case of mishap.<\/p>\n And then it ***** the gluteal cleft both dark and deep,<\/p>\n Frankly, I would prefer panties that occasionally creep.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Answers:\u00a0 strap, traps, parts<\/p>\nFollow Liza Blue on: A prior post\u00a0considered the cultural significance of the visible bra apparati, so I suppose that it should not be a total surprise that my mind wandered south and started to ruminate on underdrawers, and specifically consider the social messages sent … Continue reading <\/a> flaunt it?\u00a0 Well if so, good for her, but I didn\u2019t want to see it. \u00a0Here is my personal preference list from bad to better on the visual scale (all other things being equal):\u00a0 intentional thong, unintentional thong, granny pannies, inadvertent crack.<\/p>\n<\/a>so horrifying that it is known simply as VPL.\u00a0 So based on this logic, the thong becomes a risk benefit decision regarding the consequence of seeing the underwear outline vs. the thong itself.\u00a0 Taking a page for Law and Order, I would say, \u201cthat\u2019s bootstrapping your honor,\u201d i.e. creating a contrived nonsexual rationale for a basically sexual agenda, and of course there is the issue of visible thong line, VTL, or \u201cvittle.\u201d\u00a0 However, I will say that I have seen women in white pants who have made disastrous underwear choices.\u00a0 When I was working at the hospital, there was a certain nurse who had no clue that her patterned underwear were clearly visible through her tight polyester pants.\u00a0 One day, I noticed that she was wearing underwear that clearly said \u201cThursday\u201d across the back, but since it was Friday, I wondered if she had forgotten to change up.\u00a0 Another day, she was wearing underwear that depicted the Chicago skyline, where the tall erect Sears tower was perfectly aligned with her cleft.<\/p>\n<\/a> did this with great success as she was sewn into a gold sequined gown she wore to serenade President Kennedy on his birthday.\u00a0 The commando option does beg the question why we are wearing underwear in the first place.\u00a0 I can imagine a variety of reasons: protection, reshaping the contour of the anatomy, modesty, basic mopping up action, habit and sexuality.\u00a0 Now protection is more of a male issue where there appears to be no clear winner in the boxers vs. tidy whiteys \u00a0vs. the banana hammock debate.\u00a0 Reshaping the contour refers more to bras, which typically try to enhance and showcase a modest endowment.\u00a0 In contrast, reshaping the buttocks is the exact opposite \u2013 an attempt to discretely compress over-endowments using something along the lines of a girdle or stout \u201cgranny pannies.\u201d \u00a0Clearly the thong does not fit this role.\u00a0 Modesty applies to skirts where there is a possibility of a peek-a-boo.\u00a0 Commando-loving Marilyn apparently wore two pairs of underwear to keep the crowds at bay when she famously stood over the subway grate and coyly tried to control her billowing skirt.\u00a0 I can identify.\u00a0 In kindergarten I always had to wear a skirt, and I was grateful for my underwear since my classmate Eddie Friedlander always stood under the jungle gym to sneak a peek.<\/p>\nThe missing words in the following poems are anagrams (i.e. spot, stop, post) and the number of dashes indicates the number of words.\u00a0 One of the missing words will rhyme with either the preceding or following line.\u00a0 Your job is to solve the missing words based on the context of the poem.\u00a0\u00a0 Scroll down for the answers.<\/h6>\n
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