{"id":1746,"date":"2013-02-18T12:38:12","date_gmt":"2013-02-18T18:38:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/?p=1746"},"modified":"2013-02-18T12:38:39","modified_gmt":"2013-02-18T18:38:39","slug":"truth-dissembling-and-lying-and-the-wisdom-to-know-the-difference","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/2013\/02\/truth-dissembling-and-lying-and-the-wisdom-to-know-the-difference\/","title":{"rendered":"Truth, Dissembling and Lying and the Wisdom to Know the Difference"},"content":{"rendered":"

Truth, Dissembling, Lying and the Wisdom to Know the Difference<\/b><\/p>\n

Ever since I put my first shiny nickel into my pocket, walked into Woolworth\u2019s and bought my first bag of M&Ms, I have been comfortably ensconced in the predictable world of a fixed-priced economy \u2013 an even playing field for consumer goods and services, based on the na\u00efve concept that the price of something should reflect the manufacturing cost plus a profit margin.\u00a0 I recognized that a few things that fell out of this paradigm.\u00a0 Most notably the price of cars and large appliances were negotiable, but these opportunities were never aggressively pursued by my father, who was in charge of such large purchases.\u00a0 My father grew up in family where bargaining, or more pejoratively dickering or haggling, were considered unseemly.\u00a0 And if you left some money on the table at the car dealership, so be it, that was just one of the privileges of having enough wherewithall in the first place.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think that my father ever bargained for a car, he would walk in and pay list price.\u00a0 Dad used to drive these big huge sedans \u2013 the kind of gas guzzling cars that don\u2019t exist anymore \u2013 and one of them had something wrong with the pressure such that the side window would shatter on hot days when the air conditioning was running full blast.\u00a0 After the first episode, the car dealer assured him that it was fixed, but a window shattered again. \u00a0\u00a0This time it was on the driver\u2019s side and even worse, my father was driving with a client.\u00a0 The window exploded with a loud bang and shards of glass flew everywhere.\u00a0 One stuck into Dad\u2019s neck, producing a trickle of blood that oozed into his shirt collar.\u00a0 The client yelled out, \u201cMy God, Ralph, you\u2019ve been shot!\u201d and it certainly sounded plausible.\u00a0 Dad simply returned the car and bought a different car at a different dealership.\u00a0 Even as a young teenager, I realized that my father\u2019s inherited aversion to any type of bargaining was way over the top.\u00a0 My basic premise was if you\u2019re bloody and think that you\u2019ve been shot, the car dealership should fawn all over you and give you the choice any car on the lot, no questions asked.\u00a0 There\u2019s bargaining and then there is being taken advantage of.<\/p>\n

This incident stuck with me and when I was finally in the position of buying my own car with my own money, I vowed to eagerly jump into the cat and mouse game of negotiation.\u00a0 A common marketing strategy was the car dealer\u2019s promise to meet or beat any other offer.\u00a0 This was years before the internet, and verification of any car dealer\u2019s supposedly low offer required traipsing all over the place to get signed competitive bids to present to the dealer.\u00a0 I think most consumers were pretty lazy, but my husband and I did the due diligence and surprised the local dealer who harrumped when challenged to meet our best offer.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t make any other big purchases for several years, and by this time the internet had arrived.\u00a0 This changed everything.\u00a0 No longer could car dealers exploit the laziness of consumers \u2013 comparison shopping was now pathetically easy. \u00a0Even better, now we have agents like Orbitz, Expedia or Groupon to do the bargaining for us.\u00a0 At first, this seemed like the best of both worlds, no long a fixed-price model, but a bargaining model where someone else does the dirty work.\u00a0 But very quickly I realized that it\u2019s still a cat and mouse game.\u00a0\u00a0 In the pre-internet world, pricing may have been based on my initial model of cost plus overhead, but now pricing seems to be exquisitely sensitive to demand \u2013 a demand that the seller can carefully track and manipulate using sophisticated internet tools.\u00a0 Airline tickets are the best example.\u00a0 Ticket prices fluctuate based on whether the airline company thinks you are a business or personal traveler.\u00a0 Airfares might go up on Saturdays, because that is when many make reservations, so demand is higher.\u00a0 One internet site suggests that the best time to make a reservation is on Tuesdays at 2 PM CST, but this recommendation may have a very short shelf life.\u00a0 If the airlines see \u00a0increased activity at 2 PM, they might simply raise the price.\u00a0 Supposedly airlines can even profile the computer you are using to make the reservation and price accordingly.\u00a0 Just in case this isn\u2019t an urban legend, my husband makes plane reservations from different computers.\u00a0 Even Amazon purchases can vary based on the day you order. \u00a0\u00a0And then of course there are various email promotions that offer secret sales that are specifically tailored to your dredged internet data, such as past purchases, size and zip code.<\/p>\n

I feel like I am in a disadvantaged limbo \u2013 it might still be a fixed-price model for the brick and mortar retail stores, but it\u2019s a wild bargaining environment on the internet and I don\u2019t know the rules.\u00a0 But if sellers are going to use sneaky internet tricks to manipulate me, then I feel that the gloves are off and it is time to fight back.\u00a0\u00a0 The first step is \u00a0patience, certainly the basic principle of bargaining \u2013 Nick and I have learned to never accept the first offer, and are ready to walk away from a deal.\u00a0 We recently purchased a new car that came equipped with Sirius, the satellite radio.\u00a0 The initial charge was close to $200 per year, which we declined.\u00a0 Over the next 6 months, Sirius came back again and again with progressively lower offers.\u00a0 We finally accepted an offer of $25 for six months.\u00a0 I cancelled my People magazine subscription and based on my Sirius experience was eagerly waiting for them to come crawling back to me with progressively better deals.\u00a0\u00a0 I had a dissembling strategy all planned out.\u00a0 I would tell them that I was a physician (true enough, but a pathologist does not see patients) and would display the magazine in my office (also true, except for the little detail that I am the only person in my home office).\u00a0 But the only offer I got from People was higher than my original subscription.\u00a0 I guess People doesn\u2019t have the same demand problems as Sirius.<\/p>\n

I have come to realize that you can bargain for most things, and sellers are counting on the fact that we still believe we are in a fixed-price system.\u00a0 Dissembling has been my most successful bargaining technique.\u00a0 For example, if I find something I want online, I make the order via phone.\u00a0 When I talk to customer service, I will say something along the lines of, \u201cWasn\u2019t there a promotion code on my last catalog offering free shipping?\u00a0 I\u2019ve misplaced the catalog.\u00a0 Can you check for me?\u201d\u00a0 About half the time I get the free shipping, which might be the tipping point for the purchase.\u00a0 When making a hotel reservation you can innocently ask if there is a discount for AAA members, or say that a friend of yours got a different rate.\u00a0 The hotel will often give you the discount without verifying that you are an AAA member (we\u2019re not), or agree to your fictional friend\u2019s rate.\u00a0 When I mentioned these strategies to our daughter, she looked at me in horror.\u00a0 Part of me was pleased that she was such an upright citizen, but I tried to explain that we were operating in a whole new bargaining world where sellers have no qualms about dissembling and are counting on consumer laziness or confusion to avoid divulging the best price.\u00a0 The key principle to my style of bargaining is that you must develop your own rules about where you sit on the slippery slope of truth, dissembling and lying.<\/p>\n

Several years ago we were vacationing at Disney World with the kids, and the plan was to finish the trip with a visit to Nick\u2019s cousin in Tampa.\u00a0 As I stood in line, I happened to look down at Ned\u2019s head and was horrified to see head lice marching resolutely along his scalp.\u00a0 We could hardly show up infested with head lice, so we cut Disney World short and went back to the hotel to frantically delouse before check out time.\u00a0 As a courtesy, we told the \"dissembling<\/a>hotel that we had head lice.\u00a0 They mistakenly thought that we meant that we had acquired<\/i> the head lice at their hotel.\u00a0 Without hesitation they comped us the room.\u00a0 There was a brief pause as we pondered the moral dilemma \u2013 do we humiliate ourselves by admitting that we were the culprits, at which point the hotel might charge us for the fumigation, or do we accept their kind offer?\u00a0 After all, there was an outside chance that our head lice were local.\u00a0\u00a0 We said nothing.<\/p>\n

For our 25th<\/sup> anniversary, we decided to stay at a very fancy hotel in Phoenix, the Phoenician, in part because they advertised a grass tennis court, which we had always wanted to try.\u00a0 However we were frequently disappointed with the service, particularly \"dissembling<\/a>given the high cost of the room.\u00a0 Based on our Disney World experience, I decided to keep track of my issues and present them at check out.\u00a0 For starters, the grass tennis court was closed due to some sort of galloping turf fungus.\u00a0 \u00a0We had to pay extra for internet access and parking while the bargain La Quinta across the street offered both for free.\u00a0 At one meal, our dinnerware was coated with old eggs, but the lemonade incident was my personal triumph.\u00a0 I had stopped at the golf shop and noticed that the snack bar was offering \u201cfresh-squeezed lemonade.\u201d\u00a0 At $3.50 a glass, this actually seemed very reasonable, so I ordered one.\u00a0 The well-meaning cabana boy then reached into the fridge and pulled out a jug of standard issue store-bought lemonade.\u00a0 When I objected that this wasn\u2019t fresh-squeezed he reassuringly showed me the label.\u00a0 Unfortunately it proudly stated, \u201ctastes just like<\/i> fresh-squeezed.\u201d\u00a0 I pointed out the difference between what the menu said and what the jug said and tried to explain to him that the word \u201clike\u201d made all the difference between dissembling and lying.\u00a0 You see, I am very careful with my words.<\/p>\n

When we checked out, I did a tour de force of dissembling to the desk clerk, distraught over the missed grass court tennis game, the lemonade and other transgressions.\u00a0 For good measure, I threw in the dirty silver ware.\u00a0 The desk clerk was only horrified by the silverware and comped us a room on the spot.\u00a0 To me, this was a minor issue, an innocent mistake easily corrected and certainly not worth a free night.\u00a0 In fact I thought that the faux lemonade was the most compelling.\u00a0 While I emerged successful with a comped room, I must say that it did feel a bit unseemly.\u00a0 The truth is that we should have just stayed at La Quinta.\u00a0 I was playing this gotcha game too aggressively and turning into a person that I did not want to be.\u00a0\u00a0 This is probably just what my father felt so many years ago in his genteel fixed-price world. \u00a0If you want to play some games, you have to be comfortable leaving money on the table.<\/p>\n

The missing words in the following poem consist of two sets of anagrams (i.e. share the same letters like spot, post, stop) and the number of asterisks or dashes \u00a0indicates the number of letters.\u00a0 Scroll down for answers.<\/em><\/p>\n

A fixed price economy is something that our culture has held ****<\/p>\n

With an even playing field and all the rules that are clear.<\/p>\n

But prices disappeared into a nebulous – – – – – once the internet arrived<\/p>\n

And we have to learn new bargaining skills in order to survive.<\/p>\n

With data mining, retailers now have the tools to toy with our psychology<\/p>\n

And **** to post one price at 1 PM and totally different one at – – – – –<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t despair – – – – –\u00a0 is a way to fight back and avoid the scams and the gyps,<\/p>\n

But be careful because you\u2019re on a treacherous slope that slips.<\/p>\n

If you **** this story, you know you need to define your own rules of the game<\/p>\n

Define truth, dissembling and lying otherwise you\u2019ll only just feel shame.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

Answers:\u00a0 dear, ether, dare, three, there, read<\/p>\nFollow Liza Blue on: \"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>Share: \"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>\"reddit\"<\/a>\"pinterest\"<\/a>\"linkedin\"<\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Truth, Dissembling, Lying and the Wisdom to Know the Difference Ever since I put my first shiny nickel into my pocket, walked into Woolworth\u2019s and bought my first bag of M&Ms, I have been comfortably ensconced in the predictable world … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[32,23,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1746","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-such-is-life","category-to-the-best-of-my-knowledge","category-what-i-did"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7iVc8-sa","post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1746","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1746"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1746\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1752,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1746\/revisions\/1752"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1746"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1746"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1746"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}