![\"classic](\"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/classic-package.png\")
<\/a>more discreet chewing compared to the larger sticks of Wrigley\u2019s gum.\u00a0 My brothers may have enjoyed blowing bubbles with Bazooka gum, but this was a male-dominated activity.\u00a0 Based on my mother\u2019s example, the only gum suitable for a sophisticated woman was Dentyne.<\/p>\nI rarely saw my father chew gum, except for the fitful occasions when he tried to quit smoking.\u00a0 But if he did chew gum it was Black Jack.\u00a0 This puzzled me, since Black Jack was not sold in our grocery store, and my mother didn\u2019t buy it for him.\u00a0 A driving trip through Wisconsin that took us directly through downtown Milwaukee provided some clues.\u00a0 I remember looking out and seeing black folks walking the sidewalks and sitting on stoops.\u00a0 This was a definite novelty for me, since our affluent suburb was the epitome of white homogeneity.\u00a0 On the other hand my father went into downtown Chicago for work as a salesman for a financial printing company.\u00a0 His clients were mostly corporate lawyers, but his workplace included the men who operated the printing presses.\u00a0 He was the only one in our family who had any first hand experience with heterogeneity.<\/p>\n
As we glided through Milwaukee sealed in our car, he looked out the window and announced with great authority \u201cBlack men like to wear hats on Sunday.\u00a0 They also like to chew Black Jack gum.\u201d<\/p>\n
Even as a ten year old, I realized that this was a sweeping generalization so I spent some time puzzling through these remarks. \u00a0For example, regardless of the weather my father always wore a brimmed felt hat with a grosgrain ribbon to work \u2013 but he never wore a hat on the weekend.\u00a0 Perhaps this was the basis of his odd comment.\u00a0 Black Jack might also have been related to work. \u00a0My father always made friends with everyone, and was probably one of the few salesmen who went down to the clanging and sweaty printing presses to see how his jobs were coming.\u00a0 If he noticed Black Jack gum in the break room, he would have rushed out to buy a few packs so that he could offer some to his co-workers.\u00a0 I could picture him standing in the elevator with the crew chief and extending a pack of the licorice-flavored Black Jack gum.\u00a0 \u201cHey how\u2019s it going down there?\u00a0 Is it busy?\u00a0 Want a piece of gum?\u201d<\/p>\n
We used to get Christmas cards from his co-workers and they were instantly recognizable. \u00a0Cards from local friends came on heavy cardstock with a picture of immaculately dressed families sitting on well-tended lawns.\u00a0 The most pretentious cards announced that the family had taken some exotic vacation, perhaps with a picture of kids decked out in ski outfits standing in the shadow of the Matterhorn.\u00a0 The Christmas cards from his co-workers \u2013 I remember Scotty and Jerry Girard \u2013 always came on flimsy paper showing a Christmas scene embedded with sparkly sprinkles that came off in your hand when you opened them.<\/p>\n
The Second Quarter<\/i><\/p>\n
I stopped living full time at home when I went to boarding school at age 14.\u00a0 I would sign out of the dorm and walk downtown to get a pack of Dentyne.\u00a0 One day I was shocked and outraged to discover that Dentyne was no longer a nickel.\u00a0 Instead of having six pieces of gum now there were only five or you could buy a \u201cvalue pack\u201d of fifteen pieces, but it didn\u2019t take a genius to figure out that you were gipped.\u00a0 Here was my vivid and painful introduction to inflation.\u00a0 I bought up as many of the nickel packages I could find and then vowed I would never chew Dentyne again.\u00a0 Their price increase was inexcusable for a loyal customer.\u00a0 My revenge lasted only about a week until I resigned myself to the scourge of inflation.<\/p>\n
I carried my Dentyne habit with me as a necessary study aide throughout my academic life until age 29 when I finally finished my medical training.\u00a0 During medical school I loved reading textbooks, particularly anatomy and pathology that became the focus of my career.\u00a0 I would go to the sunny library at NorthwesternUniversity and stake out a large desk and line up my tools; the textbook, a brand new yellow highlighter and a value pack of Dentyne.\u00a0 First I would open the book and run my hands up and down the glossy pages. \u00a0I would uncap the highlighter and take an appreciative sniff of the chemical smell.\u00a0 Finally I would pop a piece of Dentyne into my mouth. \u00a0Mentally, I could read a textbook all day, but I needed a tiny bit of physical stimulation to keep from getting jittery.\u00a0 Chewing gum was just enough to strike the right balance.\u00a0 As I chewed one piece after another, a mound of used gum would pile up on the desk.\u00a0 When I had gone through the entire pack, I knew that it was time to pack up and go home.<\/p>\n
Once I finished medical school and stopped reading textbooks, the only venue I found for chewing gum was long car rides.\u00a0 The strategy was the same – the gum served as the minimal physical activity required to keep me focused on the road.\u00a0 Although I had managed to weather the disappointment of inflation, it was hard to bear the next blow \u2013 Dentyne stopped making the classic cinnamon flavor.\u00a0 Instead they transitioned to various sugar-coated flavors packaged in blister packs.\u00a0 When Coca Cola tried to retire Classic Coke there was a national uproar, but Dentyne managed to make the transition without a peep. \u00a0I could occasionally find some Dentyne Classic at out of the way gas stations, but when that tenuous supply petered out, I stopped chewing gum entirely.\u00a0 The legacy of my mother came to a sorry end.<\/p>\n
The Third Quarter<\/i><\/p>\n
Over the next decades I would occasionally check to see if Dentyne Classic had staged a comeback.\u00a0 No luck.\u00a0 Furthermore Dentyne nixed their simple slogan of Helps Keep Teeth White\/Breath Fresh to prey on the insecurities of dating.\u00a0 Packages advised, \u201cPractice Safe The packages also said \u201cKeeps Breath Fresher<\/i> for 40 Minutes After Chewing.\u201d The claim is illustrated with a little stopwatch.\u00a0 This raises interesting questions about the research Dentyne did to validate this claim.\u00a0 I could imagine a focus group of couples sniffing each other\u2019s breath as the seconds tick away.\u00a0 \u201cHoney, I think it is about time for another stick of gum,\u201d one woman might say with a dispirited sniff as she realizes her partner needs reinforcement after a scant 20 minutes.\u00a0 Perhaps the Dentyne legal counsel demanded a more objective test, and the crack engineering team devised an aroma-meter equipped with blinking red lights and an alarm if the odor fell below an arbitrary freshness level.\u00a0\u00a0 However, note that Dentyne only claims to make your breath \u201cfresher.\u201d \u00a0If you started at noxious level, perhaps after an extended nap, you could still meet Dentyne\u2019s goal of being \u201cfresher\u201d while remaining pretty skanky.\u00a0 For example, even if you could freshen up the pungency of dog shit, it will still smell like shit.<\/p>\n The Dentyne website includes truly bizarre YouTube videos.\u00a0 One animated video is simply called \u201cBanana Hammock\u201d and features scantily clad male and female avatars sitting in a sauna.\u00a0 The woman asks the man why he isn\u2019t sweating profusely.\u00a0 He claims that he always carries a Split2Fit pack of Dentyne Ice with him.\u00a0 The woman then asks, \u201cHow is this possible, since you are wearing a banana hammock?\u201d\u00a0 The video then cuts to a tight close-up of the man\u2019s crotch.\u00a0 It is impossible to imagine that his teeny outfit could accommodate one stick of gum, much less the eight in a Split2Fit pack.<\/p>\n He then responds, \u201cYes, my Split2Fit pack fits almost anywhere, like in my banana hammock.\u201d<\/p>\n The two then trade additional jargon, with the man contending that his pack of gum will fit into a \u201cplump snuggler,\u201d \u201csausage sling,\u201d \u201cdong sarong,\u201d and then oddly enough he says that the Split2Fit pack would not fit in a \u201cMan-Berry Pudding Pack.\u201d<\/p>\n Clearly not my mother\u2019s Dentyne anymore.<\/p>\n Now<\/i><\/p>\n As part of a reading assignment for my writing class, I read a parody of Ken Burns\u2019 documentaries, where the author substitutes the history of gum for topics such as the Civil War or Baseball.\u00a0 \u00a0The parody opens with a hilarious over-the-top imitation of Burns\u2019 signature reverential style:<\/p>\n \u201cIt started as an idle pursuit: a way to pass the time, to occupy the slackened jaw of street urchin and steel magnate alike (Hold on various stills of farmlands, factory workers, men in bowler hats.<\/i>)\u00a0 Even in its infancy, when America wakened to its unfurling power like a slumbering giant whose nap had been cut short by the ambulance cry of its own withered soul, when gnashing, nattering demons fought for the very plinth of this great land, when the corn was as high as an elephant\u2019s eye \u2013 even then it served as a salve to the spirit, a lulling reminder that there would still be a tomorrow, even if tomorrow never came.\u201d<\/p>\n The parody goes on to interview such Burns regulars as the historian Shelby Foote who comments that gum\u2019s enduring flavor is a \u201cmetaphor for all that was regenerative in American Life.\u201d \u00a0As irreverent as this parody is, gum could actually be a suitable subject for Ken Burns. \u00a0Imagine the fascination of tracing the cultural significance of chewing as a pastime or social courtesy, focusing on gum, betel nuts, tobacco, coca leaves, or whatever else humans have used to address their oral fixation.\u00a0 The documentary could find archeological evidence of gum wads from ancient days or carbon date the gum despoiling the streets of Ephesus or affixed to Jesus\u2019 sandal.\u00a0 Interviews could include natives of Peru, India, Southeast Asia and baseball players, all of them dedicated gum chewers.\u00a0 This could take up to twenty episodes.\u00a0 If Ken Burns wants something quick and simple, I would be glad to give him my life in gum.<\/p>\n The bar is strewn with crushed cigarette butts and half finished **** of beer.<\/p>\n It stinks and the woman says, \u201cThere\u2019s no chance I\u2019ll get lucky here.\u201d<\/p>\n She looks around, but every man just makes her want to say ugh.<\/p>\n Then she spots a man in the corner, but he looks a bit ****,<\/p>\n However, his teeth are gleaming and he holds up a pack of Dentyne.<\/p>\n They kiss because she knows that his breath is fresh and his **** are clean.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Mugs, smug, gums<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\nFollow Liza Blue on: The First Quarter I remember my mother standing in the kitchen chatting on the yellow telephone with the long and twisting cord.\u00a0 She would twirl her short brown hair with her index finger as she chewed a piece of gum.\u00a0 … Continue reading <\/a> Breath.\u201d\u00a0 Different flavors were also sold in a \u201ccar cup\u201d with the sugar coated pieces of gum rattling inside like pills in a prescription bottle.\u00a0 On the top it said, \u201cSafe Breath is Date Breath.\u201d\u00a0 The blister pack came with two sleeves of gum, 8 pieces in each with the label \u201cSplit2Fit Your Lifestyle.\u201d\u00a0 The idea was that when you split the pack, one half would fit discreetly in a pocket, like an emergency pack of condoms.\u00a0 One side said, \u201cFor Pre-Party.\u201d \u00a0The other half was labeled \u201cFor Post Party,\u201d held in reserve in case you got lucky. \u00a0Ads also played up the condom analogy. \u00a0One showed a nervous young man buying his Dentyne at a drugstore, while the cashier snickered and winked at him knowingly.<\/p>\nThe missing words in the following poem are anagrams (i.e. share the same letters like spot, post, stop) and the number of asterisks indicates the number of letters.\u00a0 Your job is to solve the missing words based on the above rules and the context of the poem.\u00a0 Scroll down for answers.<\/em><\/h6>\n
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