{"id":2169,"date":"2016-01-04T13:59:57","date_gmt":"2016-01-04T19:59:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/?p=2169"},"modified":"2016-02-15T15:48:34","modified_gmt":"2016-02-15T21:48:34","slug":"ten-foods-that-i-have-demonized-and-can-no-longer-eat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/2016\/01\/ten-foods-that-i-have-demonized-and-can-no-longer-eat\/","title":{"rendered":"Ten Foods That I Have Demonized and Can No Longer Eat"},"content":{"rendered":"

1.\u00a0 Liver, because as a pathologist I have done too many autopsies where I have had to grapple with slippery, greasy livers ravaged by poor life choices. (I still like ribs though.)<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 Escargot, because the action of extracting them from their cozy shells reminds me of cleaning out my ears with a Q-tip.<\/p>\n

3. \u00a0Black olives, because they look like small snips of necrotic body parts saved as trophies by a serial killer.<\/p>\n

\"olives<\/a><\/p>\n

4. \u00a0Shaved coconut, because it reminds me of the collection of toenail clippings my mother sent my Uncle Archie as a joke, and then he sent them back embedded in an ashtray that she kept in the drawer next to the kitchen telephone.<\/h3>\n
\"cocnute<\/a>

Shaved coconut<\/p><\/div>\n

\"toenail<\/a>

Toenails<\/p><\/div>\n

\n

\n

\n

\n

\n

5.\u00a0 Orange juice with pulp, because I as a teenager I used to go spring skiing in the Rockies where one of the goals was to get a perfect tan in seven days. \u00a0Some years I overshot my goal.\u00a0 My lips would blow up and get chapped, and little pulp-like flakes of skin would fall into my breakfast juice.<\/p>\n

6.\u00a0 Bananas, it\u2019s not what you think, it is because of the limp and lifeless drape of the peel, and also because the moist\u00a0\u00a0chewing noise sounds like dogs licking their balls.<\/p>\n

7.\u00a0 Pickles, because the briny swill reminds me of bilge water.<\/p>\n

8.\u00a0 Cottage cheese, because it reminds me of a rampant thrush infection, which is even described that way in medical textbooks.<\/p>\n

9.\u00a0 Hard boiled eggs, because in the 1960s my mother\u2019s friends\u2019 bright red lipstick left smears all over the egg whites. (This probably says more about my aversion to lipstick than eggs.)<\/p>\n

10.\u00a0 Baby Ruth, because of the movie Caddy Shack.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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1.\u00a0 Liver, because as a pathologist I have done too many autopsies where I have had to grapple with slippery, greasy livers ravaged by poor life choices. (I still like ribs though.) 2.\u00a0 Escargot, because the action of extracting them … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[30],"tags":[36],"class_list":["post-2169","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food-stuff","tag-fanagrams"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7iVc8-yZ","post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2169","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2169"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2169\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2196,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2169\/revisions\/2196"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2169"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2169"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2169"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}