{"id":219,"date":"2011-02-28T21:02:32","date_gmt":"2011-02-28T21:02:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fanagrams.net\/blog\/?p=219"},"modified":"2011-11-08T12:36:07","modified_gmt":"2011-11-08T18:36:07","slug":"oscars-worst-dressed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/2011\/02\/oscars-worst-dressed\/","title":{"rendered":"Oscars Worst Dressed"},"content":{"rendered":"

Okay I admit to getting People magazine and reading other similar rags in the check out aisle and I must say one of the sections that I enjoy is some sort of fashion maven who critiques red carpet fashions with creative cattiness.\u00a0 This isn’t cruel since anyone standing on a red carpet is basically asking for it.\u00a0 So I thought I would take a try at some red carpeteers at the 2011 Oscars.\u00a0 Open Fire!<\/p>\n

This starlet below\u00a0is standing among the billowing smoke of a messy volcano \"\"<\/a>eruption, a virtual Krakatoa spewing literally tons of ashes skyward, dimming the sun’s rays and creating weather havoc.\u00a0 However, if you are able to look\"\"<\/a> through the smoke into the gaping maw, you would see the hell on earth fiery cauldron as hot lava erupts from Penelope\u2019s Cruz\u2019 nether regions and drips down her legs.<\/p>\n

Oprah Winfrey arrived to present the award for the best documentary, which might well have included the birthing of this\"\"<\/a> overly long glitterly dress, which included enough tinfoil to jam the radar of overhead airplanes.\u00a0 Oprah has long had an uneasy relationship with her physique, but seems comfortable and unapologetic in her full figured mode, most appropriate for her emerging image as America\u2019s maternal sweetheart.\u00a0 One could imagine a small child or animal getting lost within the friendly and\u00a0cozy confines of her mega-mammaries.<\/p>\n

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Kudos to Ms. Johansen for selecting something other than the basic red, black or white, but this choice looks like my grandmother\u2019s lace tablecloth\u00a0had an unfortunate\u00a0encounter with a vat of red wine.\u00a0 The casual tousled \u2018do bears a striking resemblance to the bed head of thousands of dishwater blondes who look to Oscar fashions for inspiration not imitation.<\/p>\n

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OMG \u2013 this dress is bizarre enough from the front with the epaulets and bead work framing the blank canvas of her chest\"\"<\/a> that just calls out for a full size cameo figure.\u00a0 The yellow accents at the shoulders add a dash of welcome color, however expanding to a horrific creeping and pustular skin disease on her back.\u00a0 Those with a penchant for picking scabs are just itching to take a turn.<\/p>\nFollow Liza Blue on: \"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>Share: \"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>\"reddit\"<\/a>\"pinterest\"<\/a>\"linkedin\"<\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Okay I admit to getting People magazine and reading other similar rags in the check out aisle and I must say one of the sections that I enjoy is some sort of fashion maven who critiques red carpet fashions with … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-219","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-squibs"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7iVc8-3x","post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=219"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":234,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/219\/revisions\/234"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=219"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=219"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=219"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}