{"id":2269,"date":"2016-04-06T21:20:00","date_gmt":"2016-04-07T02:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/?p=2269"},"modified":"2016-04-06T21:20:27","modified_gmt":"2016-04-07T02:20:27","slug":"open-letter-to-dos-equis-beer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/open-letter-to-dos-equis-beer\/","title":{"rendered":"Open Letter to Dos Equis Beer"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Dos Equis Beer,<\/p>\n

I am writing in regard to your recent announcement that you are retiring your spokesperson for your \u201cMost Interesting Man in the World\u201d beer campaign.\u00a0 I am excited by this opportunity to refresh your image.\u00a0 For years Dos Equis has insisted that a silver-haired, over-tanned and vaguely Euro-trashy playboy is the most interesting man in the world, but we are never told why.\u00a0 We know he is wealthy based on his exotic exploits, but we don\u2019t know how he earned his fortune.\u00a0 He is surrounded by a bevy of fluttering young women, but we don\u2019t know if they are attracted to him because he is interesting, wealthy or both, but I suppose the bottom line is that sex sells.\u00a0\u00a0Now\u00a0is the time to resolve these unknowns.\u00a0 Swap out this caricature for a truly interesting character.\u00a0 Add some reality to your premise.\u00a0 I heartily nominate James Dyson, the inventor and spokesperson for the Dyson vacuum cleaner.<\/p>\n

A vacuum cleaner salesman may seem to be an odd choice, but hear me out.\u00a0 As a household engineer, Dyson fits your baseline premise; he is inherently interesting in a relatable way, the type of guy who finds practical solutions to everyday annoyances.\u00a0 After all, his vacuum cleaner doesn\u2019t need a bag and retains its suction as it accumulates dust and hair.\u00a0 Certainly everyone has had at least one good idea \u2013 perhaps a better mousetrap or wine opener \u2013 just one brain storm separates all of us from James Dyson.\u00a0 He will make us say \u201cWhy didn\u2019t I think of that?\u00a0 I could have made a fortune.\u201d<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t need worry that your ads will promote vacuum cleaners instead of beer.\u00a0 Your male audience\u00a0won\u2019t give a gnat\u2019s ass about the virtues of a vacuum cleaner, but they will respond to the fruits of that one good idea, your implicit messages of sex and wealth.\u00a0 In his current vacuum cleaner ads, Dyson is all tidied up in a sophisticated yet casual way and speaks with that soft clipped British accent that Americans love.\u00a0 And he is easy on the eyes, very easy on the eyes.\u00a0 This version of James Dyson will resonate with your white collar audience.\u00a0 For your audience of average beer-swilling schlubs, you could scruff him up a bit and show him tinkering in his workshop.\u00a0 I envision Dyson in a heather grey T-shirt, working hard on some sort of engine.\u00a0 As he turns to the camera to give his testimonial, you can see a bit of sweat darkening his collar.\u00a0 Focus on the collar only. Sweaty armpits are too down-market for your brand.\u00a0 Dyson should also wear a big tool belt that clanks as he hitches it up.\u00a0 Across time and cultures, women in kitchens have always succumbed to the\u00a0je ne sais quoi\u00a0sex appeal of workmen in tool belts.<\/p>\n

\"images\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Dyson also exudes the venerable sex appeal of wealth.\u00a0 Your current spokesperson seems to live the life of the idle rich, a status that your drinkers may find unattainable.\u00a0 Dyson ads can focus on the nobler image of earned wealth by profiling the toys he has accumulated \u2013 his enormous yacht Nahlin and his estate in France.\u00a0 If you want to retain the bimbo-ish flavor of your current ads, I suppose you could show Dyson on the deck of his yacht, sipping Dos Equis and fending off nubile trophy hunters.<\/p>\n

Your current ads conclude with the tag line,<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis.\u00a0 Stay thirsty my friends.\u201d<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t worry, you can retain a pithy life lesson with a little wordsmithing.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t always have brilliant ideas, but when I do, I am usually drinking a Dos Equis. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Stay thirsty my friends.<\/p>\n

With this revision you have deftly altered the image of Dos Equis as a lubricant for mindless partying to a work-reward, inspirational message.\u00a0 Dos Equis is now positioned as the drink of choice for the intelligent man thinking great thoughts.\u00a0 Aim higher, my friends.<\/p>\n

By the way, you don\u2019t have to stop with the Dyson vacuum.\u00a0 You could have a series of ads profiling Dyson\u2019s other successes.\u00a0 There is the Dyson \u201cAir Multiplier\u201d a safer fan without the moving blades.\u00a0 The other day in a public bathroom, I dried my hands in the \u201cDyson Airblade\u201d hand dryer.\u00a0 Instead of using heat, this dryer uses a thin sheet of moving air to squeegee the water away.\u00a0 I slapped my head and said, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t I think of that?\u00a0 I need to relax more with a Dos Equis.\u201d\u00a0 I am sure that you could also mine some humor in Dyson\u2019s failures, perhaps corrected with a contemplative glass of Dos Equis.<\/p>\n

In short, James Dyson is the full package – a truly interesting and wealthy man with sex appeal resonating across the entire gamut of your audience.\u00a0 I will leave it to your marketing department to make him an interesting offer.<\/p>\n

Please let me know if you would like to discuss further.<\/p>\n

Sincerely,<\/p>\n

Liza Blue<\/p>\nFollow Liza Blue on: \"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>Share: \"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>\"reddit\"<\/a>\"pinterest\"<\/a>\"linkedin\"<\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Dos Equis Beer, I am writing in regard to your recent announcement that you are retiring your spokesperson for your \u201cMost Interesting Man in the World\u201d beer campaign.\u00a0 I am excited by this opportunity to refresh your image.\u00a0 For … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[34],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2269","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-mcsweeney-rejects"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7iVc8-AB","post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2269","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2269"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2269\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2274,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2269\/revisions\/2274"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2269"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2269"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2269"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}