{"id":2583,"date":"2017-07-11T09:25:20","date_gmt":"2017-07-11T14:25:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/?p=2583"},"modified":"2017-07-11T09:28:38","modified_gmt":"2017-07-11T14:28:38","slug":"lists-reasonably-flat-surfaces-that-could-be-used-for-forced-idleness-advertising","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/2017\/07\/lists-reasonably-flat-surfaces-that-could-be-used-for-forced-idleness-advertising\/","title":{"rendered":"Lists: Reasonably Flat Surfaces That Could Be Used for Forced Idleness Advertising"},"content":{"rendered":"

The airport experience is nothing but sequential moments of forced idleness.\u00a0 As we stand numbly in security lines or fidget at the gate, our weary eyes dart around looking for stimulation.\u00a0 Marketers have obliged.\u00a0 Every available surface is slathered with ads \u2013 the pillars of the concourse, the elevator door, the escalator rails or the bottom of the bins in the security line.\u00a0 I have even seen an ad on\u00a0the floor beamed from a projector hanging from the rafters.<\/p>\n

These ads are fleeting \u2013 elevator doors close, the bins in the security line are promptly covered by clothes – and thus they convey nothing more than product awareness.\u00a0 \u00a0But marketers must believe that even this brief exposure can seep into our psyche. \u00a0Marketers are like sharks, ever moving on the ocean floor, searching for new meat, eager to extrapolate the airport experience into the cracks and crevices of our daily lives.<\/p>\n

Here are my top picks for the next wave of forced idleness advertising.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. Women\u2019s Bathroom Stalls<\/strong><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t speak for men, but urinal advertising does seem a bit intrusive.\u00a0 Pants are unzipped, genitalia hanging.\u00a0 Nevertheless, urinals have long been exploited for ads. \u00a0Considering the age of the man and the condition of his prostate, I estimate that urination provides about 20 seconds of forced idleness with the pee-er forced to stare ahead. \u00a0(Actually, ads on urinals could be a welcome focus to limit the possibility of straying eyes.) \u00a0In stadiums, urinal ads often promote the schedule of upcoming games. \u00a0Uber has started to put ads in urinals in bars, on the presumption that this demographic needs a ride home.<\/p>\n

I am certainly not a fan of such advertising, but I always stand up for women\u2019s equality.\u00a0 There are no ads in women\u2019s bathrooms.\u00a0 In fact, I would be happy to know about upcoming sports schedules or local attractions. \u00a0The bathroom stall is the epitome of a captive audience and the duration of the forced idleness will exceed that of the urinal. \u00a0At my last visit, I timed it out at 30 seconds.\u00a0 However, since I pride myself on efficiency in all matters, the 30 seconds could be a gross underestimate, and of course, the privacy of the stall permits additional voluntary<\/em> idleness, an opportunity that presumably does not exist at the men\u2019s urinal.\u00a0 The smooth expanse of the stall door is absolutely ripe for advertising. Sexism is the only possible explanation for this missed opportunity.<\/p>\n

2. Dry Cleaners<\/strong><\/p>\n

As I wait at the dry cleaners for the attendant to retrieve my clothes, I look with new appreciation at the unsullied expanse of the counter top.\u00a0 In front of me the conveyor belt swishes along and I count forty-five seconds before my clothes are dumped onto the counter.\u00a0 That exposure time is at least thirty seconds longer than the ephemeral ads in the bottom of\u00a0airport security bins.\u00a0 This time and space just calls out for exploitation. \u00a0At the very least, dry cleaners could extol their expert tailoring, their ability to get a zipper back on track, refresh tired Velcro or get the yellow out of the armpits.\u00a0 Advertisements for the Subway sandwich shop next door could bring in additional revenue.<\/p>\n

3. Highways<\/strong><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s an idea to close the government\u2019s budget deficit. \u00a0It\u2019s the interstate highway system. That\u2019s 46,000 miles of an utterly flat surface. \u00a0So why not embed ads in the pavement?<\/p>\n

Pavement ads could simultaneously keep the motorists\u2019 eyes on the road and eliminate the distraction of ugly billboards.\u00a0 The advertising revenue could then fund the repair of crumbling highway infrastructure.\u00a0 A pilot program could focus on embedding ads into the exit ramps, where drivers are slowing down anyway. \u00a0My fast food vendor of choice is Arby\u2019s, so why not slap that ten-gallon hat logo right on the ramp to guide me on my way? \u00a0How about a picture of some fries?<\/p>\n

4. Eggs<\/strong><\/p>\n

Eggland\u2019s Best eggs are individually marked with a stamped EB. \u00a0If the technology exists to mark\u00a0\u00a0an egg without breaking it, then the egg shell could become another surface for advertising. \u00a0Just think of it, this ad would be seen 36 times \u2013 once in the store when checking for broken eggs, once when transferring each egg to the egg rack in the fridge and again as each egg is used.<\/p>\n

Given the exploitation of flat-ish surfaces, it should be no surprise that yes, advertising on eggs has already been done. \u00a0While the EB is just a gentle ink stamp, laser etching technology has been available for over 10 years, originally designed to improve safety by providing an expiration date and tracking code.\u00a0 The manufacturer, Egg Fusion, took the next logical step by offering eggs as advertising space.\u00a0 In 2006, CBS advertised their fall TV line-up on 35 million eggs. \u00a0The CSI franchise was promoted with the tagline \u201cCrack the Case with CBS.\u201d \u201cLeave the Yolks to Us\u201d promoted their Monday night comedies.<\/p>\n

I did notice a significant flaw. \u00a0The ads were placed on the flattest center of the egg, which is not readily visible in the carton or the fridge. \u00a0That positioning might be acceptable for dates and tracking codes but the pointy top of the egg would be the optimal place for an ad. \u00a0However, this location is the most technically challenging given the optical distortion of such a curved surface. Egg Fusion went out of business in 2008.<\/p>\n

Advertising on eggs resurfaced in 2012 when an Israeli company conquered the technical challenges. \u00a0Dorot, a purveyor of garlic and herbs, has etched their omelet recipe onto some 3 million Israeli eggs.<\/p>\n

5. Books<\/strong><\/p>\n

Reading a book is not an example of forced idleness, but I include it here because books are my trusted work-around at the airport.\u00a0 I view the ephemeral ads of forced idleness marketing as harmless and even amusing as I think of the desperation of a company willing to hawk their wares at the bottom of an airport security bin.<\/p>\n

We are all accustomed to ads interrupting written content. Magazine and newspaper ads support freedom of the press and thus are essential to a well-informed democracy.\u00a0 Internet advertising has transformed\u00a0\u00a0passive content interruption<\/em> to aggressive disruption.<\/em>\u00a0 I have been hijacked many times by a wayward cursor that throws me into a new site promoting ads targeted specifically to me, such as a prepaid cremation or a novel treatment for toenail fungus, but this is just the price paid for instant access.<\/p>\n

Books are an entirely different category.\u00a0 A book is a sanctuary.\u00a0 Similar to the premium price for cable channels, its higher price should guarantee me freedom from ads.\u00a0 So, imagine my devastation as I stood in line at the airport and discovered ads in Green Weenies and Due Diligence<\/em>, a book about business jargon.\u00a0 Every fifty pages or so the text was disrupted by\u00a0self-promotional call-out box in the middle of the page encouraging me to buy additional copies for business prospects, customers, friends and family.\u00a0 My sanctuary was violated.\u00a0 Have I been na\u00efve to assume that a book, defined as something made of paper, held together with a spine and \u00a0glue and adorned with a Dewey Decimal number, is off-limits to an ad?<\/p>\n

I tremble at the thought of the ever-moving shark who has just discovered a new menu item.\u00a0 He will be back for more.<\/p>\nFollow Liza Blue on: \"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>Share: \"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>\"reddit\"<\/a>\"pinterest\"<\/a>\"linkedin\"<\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The airport experience is nothing but sequential moments of forced idleness.\u00a0 As we stand numbly in security lines or fidget at the gate, our weary eyes dart around looking for stimulation.\u00a0 Marketers have obliged.\u00a0 Every available surface is slathered with … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":true,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[40],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2583","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lists"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7iVc8-FF","post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2583","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2583"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2583\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2587,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2583\/revisions\/2587"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2583"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2583"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2583"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}