![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.fanagrams.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/priority-access-images.jpg\" "\\"priority")
<\/a> for sale \u00a0\u2013 i.e. priority access through the security line, or in seating.\u00a0 To me priority access represents butting in, which has always been an inviolate school yard no-no.\u00a0 In fact, I think whether or not people are willing to stand in line in an orderly manner says a lot about a culture.\u00a0 But the airlines have realized that any time people wait in line, there is an opportunity to charge for the privilege of butting in.\u00a0 Southwest Airlines is a wonderfully egalitarian affair, no first class and no priority access.\u00a0 Everyone queues up according to when they got their boarding pass.\u00a0 The advertising campaign for SouthWest proudly states that they have not succumbed to unbundling \u2013 no separate charges for baggage or upgrades.\u00a0 This strategy has set them apart from their greedy competitors, but it must have been painfully difficult to turn down the revenue from priority access.\u00a0 Unlike baggage and change fees, priority access is not a supremely irritating take-away, but is instead a new opportunity for passengers, and for the airlines a low hanging fruit in an endless orchard.\u00a0 In fact, the fruit is beyond low hanging, it just\u00a0effortlessly drops, perfectly luscious and succulent, into the hands of the competitors.\u00a0 The giddy airlines not only spread blankets and have a picnic, but then do a brisk business in making money from fruit pies made from free ingredients.\u00a0\u00a0A June 7th<\/sup> article in the New York times reported that United Airlines and Delta each reported over a billion dollars in \u201cancillary revenues,\u201d a portion of which is related to priority access.\u00a0 South West Airline has finally snapped, \u00a0and is now offering an \u201cearly bird\u201d check-in for $10.<\/p>\nCutting through the security line is another lucrative source of revenue for the airlines, even more unbelievable since it is the government TSA that creates the bottle neck \u2013 the airlines just take advantage of it.\u00a0 It seems to me that whoever delivers the captive audience in the first place should get a piece of the profits.\u00a0 Cutting in the security line makes sense in terms of time management, but the appeal of priority seating is more puzzling – although I probably would pay extra if they could assure me that I\u00a0did not have to sit\u00a0next to a crying baby.\u00a0 But in terms of when you get on the plane, what is the point?\u00a0 If you have a seat assignment, sitting back and relaxing in the gate area is more reliable than prematurely wedging into seat 14B.\u00a0 Furthermore, from a pure efficiency standpoint, it makes the most sense to seat the cabin from the rear forward, and from the\u00a0window seats out, but now the whole seating process is delayed by the many groups that get priority seating – gold, platinum, sterling and probably several other precious metal categories.\u00a0<\/p>\n
So why are people willing to pay for priority seating?\u00a0 It turns out that what the airlines are\u00a0really offering priority access to overhead bin space, which is at a premium since they charge to\u00a0check bags.\u00a0 The result is that people arrive with \u201ccarry-on\u201d bags that are absolutely stuffed and unwieldy.\u00a0 Several years ago I was doing some consulting work for a California company, who wanted me to get some sort of liability insurance in case I injured somebody while in their employ.\u00a0 This did not make sense to me.\u00a0 I was working from home and taking a cab to and from the final meeting in California, so I had very little opportunity to injure someone.\u00a0 But now as I watch people waver as they hoist heavy bags over their head, I see the risk of dumping the bag onto an unsuspecting passenger, resulting in a permanent neck injury.\u00a0 Added to this mix is the \u201cgate check\u201d\u00a0 where your baggage is stowed and then returned to you at the jetway destination.\u00a0 Right now, this is positioned as a nuisance that is avoided by the priority seating, but frankly, I think that this is preferable than wrestling with your bag.\u00a0 So an attractive strategy is to dally late at the gate and get the \u201cprivilege\u201d of free gate checking.\u00a0 If the airlines get on to me, there will be another charge for voluntary gate checking.<\/p>\n
At my last visit to the airport, I noticed that United Airlines was trying to maintain the cachet of privilege by trying to make passengers feel special.\u00a0 Those who were entitled to I must admit, the few times that I have flown first class, it has been a downright pleasurable experience.\u00a0 Like my father, it is not something that I would ever pay for, but I will not turn it down if offered.\u00a0 For over 10 years, we were extremely fortunate to have Yolanda as our babysitter, who not only took care of our children but our entire household, allowing both Nick and I to have relatively stress free working lives.\u00a0 Every year or so, we cash in some miles to give Yolanda tickets to visit her family in Columbia.\u00a0 This year I will cash in extra miles and get priority access, a red carpet and \u00a0first class tickets for someone who truly deserves it. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0My friend Louellen told me of an inspiring incident when a first class passenger spontaneously gave up his seat to a serviceman.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Now\u00a0that’s a classy deed.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n As a kid, you knew that butting in line was definitely wrong,<\/p>\n You\u2019d give those jerks the **** eye, and tell them to get back where they belonged<\/p>\n Now for a fee, the airlines will let you cut in line and enter through a separate aisle<\/p>\n But I think that this corporate sanctioned butting-in is money-grubbing at its most ****.<\/p>\n Airlines try to create a **** of legitimacy by saying they provide a choice to make,<\/p>\n But basically, priority access is a luscious low hanging fruit that is theirs to take.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n * evil, vile, veil<\/p>\nFollow Liza Blue on: It is easy to get nostalgic about the early days of flying, when air travel was still such a novel luxury that men wore sportcoats, women wore pearls and peppy stewardesses served macadamia nuts.\u00a0 Everyone truly believed that they could … Continue reading <\/a> early boarding were invited to \u201cstep up to the red carpet,\u201d conjuring up an image of movie stars arriving at the Oscars.\u00a0 But the \u201cred carpet\u201d\u00a0is nothing more than a scrap of red material about the size of a doormat.\u00a0 After all the early boarders had passed through, the gate agent carefully cordoned off the \u201cred carpet\u201d and the rest of us entered through an immediately adjacent lane whose only difference was that it was grey and not red.\u00a0 Among their priority services, United Airlines also claims that those who pony up will get their bags first in baggage claim, previously an aspect of air travel that I always assumed was absolutely random.<\/p>\nThe missing words in the following poem are anagrams (i.e. like post, stop, spot) and the number of asterisks indicates the number of letters.\u00a0 One of the missing words will rhyme with the preceding or following line.\u00a0 Your job it to figure out the missing words based on the above rules and the context of the poem.\u00a0 Scroll down for answers.<\/em><\/h6>\n
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