{"id":523,"date":"2011-07-09T01:16:20","date_gmt":"2011-07-09T01:16:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fanagrams.net\/blog\/?p=523"},"modified":"2011-07-09T01:29:15","modified_gmt":"2011-07-09T01:29:15","slug":"buy-a-ticket-and-clap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/2011\/07\/buy-a-ticket-and-clap\/","title":{"rendered":"Buy a Ticket and Clap"},"content":{"rendered":"

Flipping through the channels one evening, I lucked into the Australian Open tennis tournament just as the announcer said, \u201cThe effortlessness of Federer\u2019s game belies his mastery of his craft.\u201d\u00a0 The replay showed Federer gliding along the baseline, flicking a lob over a flailing opponent, with gasps and applause from the adoring audience.
\nI surfed a bit more and ended up with Bruce Springsteen.\u00a0 Far from effortless, the Boss was strutting, sweating, and displaying a burly athleticism that contrasted with Federer\u2019s
\ncool elegance.\u00a0 And the audience response was more muscular as well; in contrast with the hushed appreciation of the Federer audience, Bruce\u2019s fans were yelling and swaying.\u00a0 Both audiences were adoring and I felt a tinge of jealousy.<\/p>\n

Now I should say I have been very blessed to have sustaining support from my wonderful husband and friends and family, and a job that suits me, so it may seem unseemly to ask for more.\u00a0 But momentarily I thought – what a kick to have someone clap for you.\u00a0 Could
\nI conceive of any circumstance where this could happen? If I really wanted to put this notion out of reach, I could additionally hope that people would have to buy a ticket to see me glide or strut to public acclaim.<\/p>\n

When I mentioned this challenge to Nick, he snorted in disbelief.
\nHe could only come up with one scenario.\u00a0 \u201cWhat if I got a ticket to a Blackhawk hockey game, then if I was selected as one of the fans who could take a mid-ice shot at a tiny target and then if by some miracle I scored, people would probably clap and they will have
\nbought a ticket.\u00a0 Would that count?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, yes,\u201d I said, \u201cthat would technically count, except that people did not buy the ticket specifically to see you, and the clapping would be too dependent on chance alone.\u201d\u00a0 However, I agreed that this scenario was probably the most likely single event for either of us.\u00a0 Then I thought perhaps I could meet the challenge if I cobbled together separate elements of the challenge into one total experience.<\/p>\n

Step 1.
\nStrangers Gathering<\/strong><\/p>\n

Once when I was visiting my cousins Ned and Susie they asked me if I would assist them with their llamas in the local 4th of July parade in Cabot,\u00a0 Vermont.\u00a0 All I had to do was lead the llama down the street and hold up a sign for Maple Leaf Llamas, the name of their farm.\u00a0 As I stood in the parade readying grounds, I realized that this was a major community event; the place was swarming with jugglers, stilt walkers, ballerinas, Boy Scouts and our llamas.\u00a0 As I walked down Main Street, USA, I flushed and my heart might have skipped a beat as I experienced the strange sensation of thousands of eyes staring at me; a few strangers even pointed and waved at me.\u00a0 Well, okay, maybe they were
\nstaring at the llama that had a large translucent globoid drip precariously hanging from his cavernous nostril.\u00a0 Or maybe they were staring at the sign I was carrying, I could even see some lips move as folks strained to read the scrawled words.\u00a0 But it wasn\u2019t too hard to make myself believe that I was the center of attention.\u00a0 I raised my head and proudly kept pace with the llama, but I resisted the presumptuous temptation to wave back at the crowd.<\/p>\n

Step one:\u00a0 \u221a<\/strong><\/p>\n

Step 2.
\nStrangers Clapping<\/strong><\/p>\n

For my entire ice hockey career, our record was 2-5 and by that I mean 2 for 5 years.\u00a0 I played hockey goalie, primarily because I realized that after a 35 year lay off, I had forgotten how to stop and turn on skates and I could use all the protective padding that I could get.\u00a0 Besides nobody else on our rag-tag team of hockey moms volunteered.\u00a0\u00a0 Although I showed a few good instincts in the goal, I did have a chronic problem with a
\ngaping \u201c5 hole,\u201d where even slow moving pucks could dribble between my legs.\u00a0 This was aggravated by an unfortunate habit of reflexively tensing up and raising my stick off the ice
\nevery time I saw an incoming puck.\u00a0 Then one day my teammate dropped off a DVD titled, \u201cThe Puck Stops Here,\u201d with all sorts of tips for younger agile goalies.\u00a0The elaborate splits and body flops made all my joints cringe.\u00a0 But one section described some sort of upward
\nsweeping movement with the gloved hand to catch a blistering slap shot.\u00a0 At least this move was within my physical capabilities and I dutifully practiced the motion in tandem with the DVD to try and create some muscle memory.<\/p>\n

We always played during the day when husbands were at work and kids were at school, so we never had any spectators.\u00a0 But for our season finale we managed to schedule a Friday night game.\u00a0 Thinking that there would be a real crowd, I even arranged to have a
\ndeep baritone come and sing the National Anthem.\u00a0 I also asked him to sing the Canadian anthem, not because we had any Canadians in the house, but because I have always
\nthought that it is the best anthem, and nothing says hockey like \u201cO Canada!\u201d<\/p>\n

Far from the raucous crowds that I had hoped for, there was a smattering of familiar faces but also a few legitimate strangers \u2013 loyal supporters of our opponents.\u00a0 The game progressed with the usual scrums in front of the net, occasional wobbly passes, inadvertent goals and a few competent saves that earned appreciative nods from my team mates.\u00a0 And then my moment of glory. At the top of the circle, an opponent sent a screaming slapshot at the gap above my left shoulder.\u00a0 My next move was based on impulse alone; the synapses did not venture above my brainstem.\u00a0 I never saw the puck but only heard a
\nsmacking sound.\u00a0 Play stopped and I looked around for the puck in its usual place in the back of the net.\u00a0 Then the ref skated over and opened my glove, and there it was nestled in its depths.\u00a0 He plucked the puck out and waved it around for everyone to see.\u00a0 Strangers burst into wild applause, and the opposing team was clapping and slapping their sticks against the boards.\u00a0\u00a0 Apparently, I had done a very heroic sweeping motion right from the DVD.\u00a0 Clearly the pinnacle of both my hockey and entire athletic career.<\/p>\n

Step 2: \u221a<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 Step Three:
\nStrangers Buying Tickets<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ten years ago, my mother and I managed to get a children\u2019s book published.
\nNed\u2019s Journal consisted of poetry written from the eyes of a 10 year old boy, and was organized as a journal with a cute poem for each day.\u00a0 The project appealed to my mother, who was always up for some sort of cottage industry, particularly if it involved word
\nplay and doggerel.\u00a0 The original goal did not including publishing, but was just to have fun with my mother in her waning years of \u201cin compos mentis.\u201d\u00a0 But then a work colleague said that her brother had a cottage publishing industry of his own.\u00a0 His only other experience was publishing a guide to men\u2019s clothing \u2013 when to wear a cummerbund, that type of thing \u2013 but he was excited to expand into children\u2019s poetry.\u00a0 He had a miniscule budget for publicity, but managed to cajole a Barnes and Noble into sponsoring a book signing, so off I went toBrooklyn to read some of my poems.<\/p>\n

There I was 3 PM on a Friday afternoon, and as I looked at my audience, I did not see a single 10 year old boy; in fact the audience consisted of au pairs with limited English and their toddler charges.\u00a0 I had planned to read a poem about Ned who was afraid of his soccer coach, so I madly flipped through the book to find something more age appropriate.\u00a0 When I looked up, I had lost my tenuous grip on the audience, and in fact one of the au pairs was changing a diaper right in front of me.<\/p>\n

“Well at least someone will buy a book,\u201d I thought, and I left behind several autographed\u00a0 copies.\u00a0Perhaps I could consider this the last piece of the challenge, since buying a book was like buying a ticket – and an autographed ticket to boot.\u00a0\u00a0Later that year, Nick was
\nbuying some books from Amazon and saw that he was close to getting free shipping if he just spent a bit more money.\u00a0 He decided it would be cute to surprise me with a copy of Ned\u2019s Journal arriving in the mail.\u00a0 I was indeed surprised to open up my own book but was even more surprised to see that book had a sticker on it announcing that it was \u201cautographed by the author.\u201d\u00a0 How could that be, had the packer in the Amazon warehouse faked my handwriting?\u00a0 After all, who would ever know?\u00a0 I opened it up and startled at a very familiar signature \u2013 there was no mistaking it, it was mine.\u00a0 In a circuitous route around the country, Barnes and Nobles in Brooklyn had foisted off my unsold books to Amazon in Seattle, who then sent it back full circle to me in Chicago.\u00a0 Unwittingly, I had bought a ticket to my own performance.<\/p>\n

Step 3.\u00a0 Maybe not.<\/p>\n

The missing words in the following poems are anagrams (i.e. share the same letters like spot, stop and post) and the number of asterisks indicates the number of letters.\u00a0 One of the anagrams will rhyme with either the preceding or following line, giving you a big hint.\u00a0 Your job is to solve the missing words based on the above rules and the context of the poem.<\/em><\/h6>\n

Is there any situation that I could possibly ********<\/p>\n

Where people would cheer and clap for what I could do.<\/p>\n

Like the tennis play who\u00a0******** his opponents with pinpoint aces,<\/p>\n

Or the singer who enraptures every audience he faces<\/p>\n

But the support of family and friends\u00a0******** any appeal of public acclaim,<\/p>\n

So I count my blessings and hope my good fortune remains the same.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

construe, trounces, counters<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

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Flipping through the channels one evening, I lucked into the Australian Open tennis tournament just as the announcer said, \u201cThe effortlessness of Federer\u2019s game belies his mastery of his craft.\u201d\u00a0 The replay showed Federer gliding along the baseline, flicking a … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-523","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-what-i-did"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7iVc8-8r","post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/523","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=523"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/523\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":526,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/523\/revisions\/526"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=523"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=523"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=523"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}