{"id":592,"date":"2011-08-03T13:55:53","date_gmt":"2011-08-03T13:55:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fanagrams.net\/blog\/?p=592"},"modified":"2011-08-03T13:55:53","modified_gmt":"2011-08-03T13:55:53","slug":"conversation-piece","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/2011\/08\/conversation-piece\/","title":{"rendered":"Conversation Piece"},"content":{"rendered":"

I would not consider myself a good conversationalist, and you can\u2019t convince me otherwise, because every time I take one of those personality tests, I end up with all the other socially awkward people.\u00a0 But I have developed a few work-arounds over the years, and the one that I have field tested the most extensively is to ask people, \u201cWhat is your favorite sports memory?\u201d\u00a0 This never fails to get a response and sometimes a good anecdote – I figure it is better than asking someone, \u201cHave you read any good books lately?\u201d\u00a0 I am frequently surprised that some people\u2019s favorite memory involves watching sports and not participating in them, which wasn\u2019t really the point of the question, but I try not to be judgmental.\u00a0 Of course, this topic usually gives me the opportunity to tell the story when I went \u201cdowntown\u201d in a ladies softball game in the late 70s. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I was participating in a summer league where we were routinely clobbered.\u00a0 We were a group recent college graduates mixed in with some of my mother\u2019s contemporaries; none of us was really any good.\u00a0 There was one particularly warm night where I remember a couple of our players had to retire due to an impending heat rash on their thighs.\u00a0 I think that we might have had a few gals with fading baseball prowess, and perhaps one player who could heave it with all her might from third base all the way to first.\u00a0 My skills were primarily related to my intimate knowledge of the baseball rules, borne of many hours watching the Cubs on TV with my grandfather after Sunday lunch at his house.\u00a0 On my high school team, I was one of the few women who knew exactly when a dropped third strike was applicable, and that if you got hit by a pitch you were only awarded a free base only if you made an honest effort to get out of the way.\u00a0 Unfortunately these rules did not apply in this league.\u00a0 The catcher was not supposed to catch the ball, and since this was slow pitch softball, it was impossible not to get out of the way of the pitch. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

We were proud to be sponsored by the local plumber \u2013 our team name was the Hoity Toities \u2013 but our opponents were bar teams who showed up with a coach, a cooler of beverages, real uniforms and cleats.\u00a0 We all wore tennis shoes, and one of our plays once played an entire game in Minnetonkan moccasins.\u00a0 There was one team that even sported home and away uniforms even though we always played on the same field.\u00a0 After trying out several positions, I stationed myself at first base.\u00a0 I clearly had no shotgun for an arm, and was shocked to realize that I threw like a girl and could do nothing to fix it.\u00a0 At first base I didn\u2019t have to field too many balls, nor throw them, and if the ball ever did come my way, it was because my teammates were trying to throw it exactly to me.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span>Offensively, I was marginal, and drifted down to batting at the bottom of the order.\u00a0 I was also an extremely slow runner, and once I tripped and fell on the way to first base, which was all part of the fun.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

This is all by way of setting the stage for my one night of glory.\u00a0 It was a nondescript\u00a0 humid summer evening but as I stood at the plate, I suddenly realized that I was in an otherworldy zone, and I felt a cone of magical light shining down upon me.\u00a0 I remembered an interview with George Brett, the power hitter for the Kansas City Athletics, who said that occasionally, out of the blue, everything would fall into place, the pitches would look like grapefruits and there was nothing that he could do but go \u201cdowntown\u201d and hit homeruns. That night I was standing exactly in the same place, and I felt the magic.\u00a0 When first pitch came in, everything suddenly slowed down, the ball hung there and I just stepped up and crushed it in a perfectly choreographed display of hand-eye coordination.\u00a0 This was no bloop, dying quail or Texas leaguer but an absolutely frozen rope to dead center, blazing far beyond the dazed fielder.\u00a0 Not bad for the 7th batter.\u00a0 I slowly jogged around the bases to the cheers of my stunned teammates.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Next time up, I don\u2019t think that the pitcher realized that she was facing me again, and again I nailed it, this time over the left fielder\u2019s head.\u00a0 Another home run.\u00a0 The third time I was up, I received probably the best athletic compliment I have ever had.\u00a0 The pitcher recognized me, called time out, and turned around to her outfield and with a waving motion yelled, \u201cIt\u2019s her again, everybody move back \u2013 way back!\u201d\u00a0 This of course is the flip side to the more typical gesture I have received when the pitcher waves the fielders in.\u00a0\u00a0 But my opponents were helpless \u2013 once again I hit a rocket over the left fielder.\u00a0 There were no boundaries on this field and so no official home run, but as I was rounding third I could see that the left fielder was still chasing down the rolling ball. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Now just to illustrate that there is no such thing as total perfection, there was one slight disappointment to the evening.\u00a0 I had a boyfriend in tow, who in fact was the only spectator in the bleachers.\u00a0 After each homerun I would come to sit next to him, flushed, chest heaving from my jog around the bases, expecting some sort of recognition for this hall of fame performance. \u00a0But I got nothing, not a word.\u00a0 In fact I think that he was reading a medical textbook, which he evidently found more compelling that someone who could hit 4 epic homeruns in a row.\u00a0 I conjured up several possible scenarios \u2013 either he thought this was routine and expected no less (not likely and in any case an impossible standard to maintain), he felt intimidated to have such an athletic girlfriend and thus was in deep denial (not likely, lack of confidence was not an issue for him) or finally, he took it all in but didn\u2019t give a rat\u2019s ass (sadly, as it turned out, the truth). <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The missing words in the following poem are anagrams (i.e. share the same letters like spot, post, stop) and the number of asterisks indicates the number of letters.\u00a0 One of the missing words will rhyme with either the preceding\u00a0or following line.\u00a0 Your job is to solve the missings words\u00a0based on the above rules and context of the\u00a0poem.\u00a0 Scroll down for answers.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/h6>\n

My offensive output was typically feeble and meager,<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>A – – – – at a pitch might produce a weak Texas leaguer. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0B<\/span>ut the outfield had to keep – – – – on me that one magical night, <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>But even when they moved back, I just hit it out of sight. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>So you want to see perfection, just take a look at my stats. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>You\u2019ll see a home run recorded for every one of my at – – – -. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0*<\/span><\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/p>\n

Answers:\u00a0 stab, tabs, bats<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nFollow Liza Blue on: \"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>Share: \"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>\"reddit\"<\/a>\"pinterest\"<\/a>\"linkedin\"<\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I would not consider myself a good conversationalist, and you can\u2019t convince me otherwise, because every time I take one of those personality tests, I end up with all the other socially awkward people.\u00a0 But I have developed a few … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[29,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sports","category-what-i-did"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7iVc8-9y","post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/592","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=592"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/592\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":593,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/592\/revisions\/593"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=592"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=592"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=592"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}