{"id":759,"date":"2011-09-22T14:27:00","date_gmt":"2011-09-22T14:27:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fanagrams.net\/blog\/?p=759"},"modified":"2011-09-30T10:14:19","modified_gmt":"2011-09-30T15:14:19","slug":"gaslighting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/2011\/09\/gaslighting\/","title":{"rendered":"Gaslighting"},"content":{"rendered":"

I stand here a stalwart but beleaguered member of the sandwich generation, a person who has marginal computer skills and even more tenuous tech support.\u00a0 Activities of daily living (ADL) is a commonly used medical concept that describes a person\u2019s ability to function at the most basic level, focusing on bathing, dressing and preparing food.\u00a0 While ADL is a useful concept to determine who needs to be sent to a skilled nursing facility, I think that ADL could be easily enhanced to apply to the hapless computer-dependent worker trying to make a go of it in a home office.\u00a0 Test activities would include rescuing documents that have absolutely evaporated for no particular reason or deciphering the impenetrable jargon in pop-up messages that ask you to agree or disagree.\u00a0 Finally, one of the expanded ADLs would include a measure of patience.\u00a0 I would fail on all of them. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

During one computer malfunction, I spent a tortured hour talking to Gateway tech support over the phone as they were trying to walk me through a computer repair.\u00a0 This support was a premium service that we had paid extra for, but it turned out that Gateway would only come to your home if the problem couldn\u2019t be fixed over the phone first.\u00a0 How did they get away with this – clearly when our toilet or fridge is on the fritz, I don\u2019t talk to a repairman on the other side of the date line who insists on trying to turn someone with no aptitude whatsoever into an agile repairwoman.\u00a0 I had to put tech support on hold several times as I rushed around the house trying to find the correct size of a Phillip\u2019s screw driver and then I was instructed to get under the desk and remove the video card (whatever that was) from the \u201ccan.\u201d\u201d\u00a0 I could just picture the tech person smirking.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Sweating and breathing vintage dust bunnies beneath my desk, I finally found the target screw to remove the video card.\u00a0 My triumph was brief as I heard the \u201cplink\u201d of the itty bitty screw falling out of sight into the bowels of the can.\u00a0 As eager as I was to be a functioning member of the computer generation, this was too much for my meager patience.\u00a0 I let loose with a torrent of naughty words, as which point the tech person said, \u201cI don\u2019t need to listen to this abuse.\u201d\u00a0I said the feeling was mutual and that we both needed a cooling off period.\u00a0 The next day I realized I had to put my finger back in the socket; my ADL required the use of a computer.\u00a0 When I reconnected with Gateway, I head the tech support person pause, and then say, \u201cOh, Miss Brown, we have an incident report on you, and I must warn you we can\u2019t tolerate this behavior.\u00a0 I will be recording this call.\u201d\u00a0Ah yes, the computer age, with one click of the button, the entire international tech support world of Gateway, be in India<\/span>, <\/span>Iowa<\/span> or <\/span>Indonesia<\/span>, knows that Miss Brown is a potentially abusive loose cannon.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I have on my bookshelf a small volume called: \u201cGaslighting: How to Drive Your Enemies Crazy,\u201d by one Victor Santoro.\u00a0 Gaslighting perfectly describes my travails with a computer.\u00a0 The term is \"\"<\/a>based on the 1944 movie starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer.\u00a0 Charles Boyer, the husband, systematically tries to destroy the confidence of his lovely young wife by making her think that she is incompetent or imagining things, with the ultimate goal of committing her to an insane asylum.\u00a0 The chapters describe escalating forms of subtle torture, starting with \u201cCausing Disorientation,\u201d segueing to \u201cBuilding Paranoia\u201d and \u201cDestroying Your Target\u2019s Reputation.\u201d\u00a0 The book seems to have been written for a disgruntled secretary, because most of the revenge strategies require access to your boss\u2019s office.\u00a0 For example, if your boss happens to use a crutch or a cane, Mr. Santoro suggests that you sneak into the office and readjust their height.\u00a0 Or perhaps go to a thrift shop and buy a similar hat as your boss, but two sizes smaller, so he will think that his head is growing.\u00a0 The one that seemed most feasible was to send your boss Christmas cards from people he does not know. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

As I glance through the book, I realize that I have been a victim of gaslighting in the workplace.\u00a0 I remember one time I received a letter which contained a ripped out page from an airline magazine advertising a seminar on improving your public speaking abilities.\u00a0 There was a handwritten Post-It note stuck to it, which said, – \u201cElizabeth<\/span>, try this, it might help!\u201d\u00a0 And then the signature was illegible. Now I don\u2019t claim to be an accomplished public speaker, but this unexplained note was clearly not a confidence booster.\u00a0\u00a0 My current work environment is all about gaslighting, based on serious communication issues (see above, \u201cCausing Disorientation\u201d), which I have come to believe are intentional (see above, \u201cBuilding Paranoia\u201d).\u00a0 I have been sent the wrong version of a document to work on, meetings shifted or cancelled without notification and an arcane internal process with a squadron of process police gleefully waiting to yell \u201cGotcha,\u201d at the slightest provocation.\u00a0\u00a0 Up to now, I feel that I have been like the innocent frog, oblivious to the fact that he is swimming in a tub of slowly heating water, and will be quietly cooked to death unless he hops out immediately.\u00a0 Almost two weeks ago, I called to resign this job, but nobody has returned my call yet.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The missing words in the following poem are anagrams (i.e. share the same letters like spot, post, stop) and the number of asterisks indicates the number of letters.\u00a0 <\/span>One of the missing words will rhyme with either the previous or following line.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Your job is to solve the missing words based on the above rules and the context of the poem.<\/span>\u00a0 <\/span>Scroll down for answers.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/h6>\n

Your boss soars overhead, looking for something to eat and a place to land, <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But he sees nothing but rotten – – – – – and alewifes strewn upon the sand. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Although you stand among garbage, you offer him a very tasty- – – – -, <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The boss barely tries it, spits it out and then departs with a noisy flap. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

You watch disgusted as he flies off, and then when he is almost out of reach, <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

He – – – – – all over you as you stand helpless on the beach. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

*<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I stand here a stalwart but beleaguered member of the sandwich generation, a person who has marginal computer skills and even more tenuous tech support.\u00a0 Activities of daily living (ADL) is a commonly used medical concept that describes a person\u2019s … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-759","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-such-is-life"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7iVc8-cf","post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/759","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=759"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/759\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":835,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/759\/revisions\/835"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=759"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=759"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fanagrams.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=759"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}

Carps, scrap, craps<\/span><\/span><\/p>\nFollow Liza Blue on: \"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>Share: \"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>\"reddit\"<\/a>\"pinterest\"<\/a>\"linkedin\"<\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"